- 02/18/2014
- 3 Min Read
- By: Michael Rivera
Gremlins, The Hardest Part About Working on Cars
Gremlins... I've never come across a project that did not have at least one lurking somewhere. Be it someone’s hidden mistake, a snafu that failed to get reported, or simply something over looked. I feel as if they all have a particular way of really driving car guys (even the most experienced) mad. Nothing is more agitating than laying out the steps for a project you have been hoping to finish (exactly as you imagined it no less), only to come to a halting stop because something you just cannot figure out blocks you. Gremlins… no other terminology can better embody the debacle that was John’s Camaro RS.
We all remember our first car and some of us, I’m sure, recall the connection we had to it, the freedom we hoped to experience in it, and the pleasure of simply seeing it come together. The Camaro was all John wanted and if you were to meet him back then, it was all he would talk about. He purchased it at the young (and premature) age of 16, so all John could do when he first got the car was wait and plot as he was not yet of age to drive it, legally. Two years of coming out to the driveway just to sit in it and ponder, imagining what it would be like when he could finally drive it. Sometimes he would start it up to hear the motor for the occasional smile, burning through at least two full tanks in the process). I wonder if he knew then, all the effort this Camaro would require, would he have had the same smile.
The car came to John with a stock 305 TPI Chevy V8, with a quarter million miles on the clock. Given its age, you could imagine the motor was in need of some attention, but nothing would stop him from driving it the first day he was able. Luckily, he knew exactly where to bring it. If you are from the north eastern Connecticut area, you've most likely heard of the weekly car meet held at Ocean Beach, in New London. What better place for a community of muscle car enthusiasts to come together and for John to bring his baby. Unfortunately, John did not get the chance as the car literally died as he pulled into the beach’s parking lot, which was a sign of things to come). Now John, not being the most mechanically inclined, came to his brother Mike for help, and with Mike’s advice, decided -- since he had no intention of keeping the factory motor assembly anyway -- that he would simply park the car for now and get to work. Thoughts of putting in another 305 TPI so he could get back on the road were quickly tossed once a more interesting swap idea for a more powerful 350 LT1 came around.
John decided to yank the old motor and prepare the car for paint while Mike worked on sourcing the LT1. This was around the same time I got to meet Mike for the first time. I was about a year or so into college at NEIT and found myself working part time at an Autozone. Mike worked as the manager during my shifts and with us being real die-hard gear heads we quickly became friends. One day, Mike told me that he was going to work on his brother’s car at home and I was welcome to swing by. Having already heard about this car, I was curious. Upon laying eyes on it (freshly back from paint at the time) I could see this thing could really become something special and was eager to see it completed. John had recently got his LT1 motor sourced and it was time to start putting engine and car back together, which all in all went relatively well. There is plenty of room in the engine bay and since most of the car was gutted for painting anyway, it was prepared for the harness and reassembly.
This is when things began to get interesting. Joining old harness to new, though relatively simple, was quite the ordeal given Mike's diligence (border line obsessive compulsive disorder), so everything had to be just right. Two months of splicing, labeling, and extending finally netted the venerable first start. Surprisingly, all went well – after a few corrections to the harness and double checking a few things, it was alive. Sadly, this did not last long. The motor died on him a few weeks later due to a faulty Opti-Spark (possibly the worst-designed ignition distributor I have ever seen, as the water pump is mounted directly above this thing). This was not a big deal, though tedious and expensive to replace. A few weeks later the motor died again. Mike, myself, and close friend Joe checked everything but the new distributor (because hey, it's brand new). Turns out the new spark was defective and needed to be replaced again, luckily this time warranty-able. After replacing the spark again (and I kid you not no more than two weeks later) the same thing happened. This time we immediately check the spark and confirm it operational. After its confirmed good we work our way around the remaining components; spark, air, and electrical all check out. We work our way to the fuel pump and find it completely dead, order in a new pump, install it, and luckily all was well. Though not for much longer, as again one day it fails to start, this time due to a bad TPS sensor, which took some time to diagnose but is replaced quickly and on the cheap. Just another gremlin we could tack on to the list.
Now we will call this the golden age for this car as John went nearly a year with no major faults, problems, or issues, driving the Camaro and enjoying every second of it. But soon high school would be over and John decided that after school he would enlist in the military. Two days before basic training and BOOM, transmission completely craps out. Mike decides he will source a new transmission and await his brother’s return a year or so later, before putting it all back together.
Fast forward to 2010 and John returns, eager to get back to work on the Camaro, with the first order of business being pulling the motor/trans and installing a new auto trans behind the already good LT1. Mike, being the most experienced and technical of us, would rather he be around when anything gets done on the car. John, being eager, gets to work early, pulling stuff off the motor along with our friend Joe. Ignoring connectors, they decide to cut the harness to be quick about it (still shake my head on this one), figuring “hey we can just order a plug-and-play replacement” (not considering how much something like that would cost at the time). Our friend Joe, to this day, denies having anything to do with the cutting of the harness, where John still swears it was his idea.
Realizing the damage that had been done, and the already extensive amounts of funds, time and frustration spent on this car, John decides to ditch the swap idea and bring back an original TPI motor, throw it in the car, and call it a day.
After finding a donor (again) and prepping it for installation we realize how much is missing, how much is still needed, and what it would take to somehow bring this car back to life. The countless hours, long nights, and many dollars spent chasing problems and trying to make this thing right were beginning to outweigh the reward. John, being a bit older now, and concerning himself with more pressing matters (he was getting deployed soon), decided, based on Mike’s frustration and all our blood, sweat, and tears, to finally let go of the Camaro instead of working out the bugs and seeing it restored to its former glory. Our last memory of it was when it sold for a measly $1000 bucks and was loaded onto a trailer in 2012.
Despite all the headaches (and gremlins), while working on this car, I met probably the best group of friends any man could ask for and though we did not see this car completed (as it should have been), it gave a lot more back to us than it took.
About The Author: Mike Rivera
Mike Rivera is an ASE Certified Technician and Senior Sales Account Executive at FCP Euro. He can be reached at mike@fcpeuro.com
